you tell me you are straight
as if somehow
those words can draw
a line between us
and now
there is a
gap
that i should be mindful of
that i should look at this endless
space
between
and know
there are some borders
i should not cross
for long ago maps
used to contain beasts
that said
do not go down that path
for there be dragons there
and there are some roads
you should not travel down
but I cannot help
drive towards you
knowing that every kilometer
i push on
is another
you take a
step
back
and
forward
and
back
oscillating
between
the idea of
what you think it means
to be close to a man
and
the idea of
what you think it means
to be close to a man
and
the idea of
what you think
you should be close to
what if I did steal
your hand
for a moment
but no
not stole
gave you my own
would you pull away
or would the warmth you feel
be all to real of a reminder
of what you
lost
when it became too real
to hold the hand of
another man
what if I told you
that I know that
loss too
that there is
space in me
that needs
to be filled
and questions
that burn in my mind
like dead stars
whose light still shines
for even in darkness
they will guide you
what if i told you
that i too fight
between
the rumble
i have in my belly
when i catch your gaze
and the thoughts
i have
in my head
that tell me to
stop
i wish
i could give you
the shovel
i used to
dig
deep
down
inside
myself
to know that
i could
love anyone
but i fear
that you are still
trying to dig
yourself out
of the rubble
of broken down homes
that reigned upon your soul
when the bombs of masculinity
waged war
upon your
child
you were a
child
once
who used to think
they could love anyone
you tell me you are straight
as if somehow
those words can draw
a line between us
and now
there is a
gap
that i should be mindful of
that i should look at this endless